At Work Among the Natives

The Gospel of Europe and its evangelists (via Instapundit):

And second of all, Europeans get no sympathy from me because I have never, ever seen an American, upon finding out that someone to whom they were speaking hailed from another country, say, "Oh, I hate your country!" and regale the guest to our shores with a half-hour litany of why the foreigner's country, culture, and customs are utterly repulsive. Yet I have not only repeatedly met with this treatment on each of my trips to Europe, but also found, when I repeated them to a native of whatever country I was in, that my putative host defended this behavior with some variation on "Well, you have to admit they're right."

I find this person's experience entirely plausible, given this anthropological fact: I have yet to make it through a San Francisco dinner party with French or German expatriates in attendance without being lectured on America's lack of social services, light rail, and/or handgun controls. The suspense is mainly in not knowing which of the points of the litany they'll be emphasizing that evening. Marginally polite when you're over there, but this from folks who have voted against Europe with their feet, and shifted their tax dollars to the Marines.

Their thinking is, of course: "I know all that social welfare stuff is nice, but in the end I had to think about my career opportunities and my quality of life." But have they ever considered that the United States has perhaps faced exactly the same difficult tradeoff as a country, and settled it in the same manner?

Since the Ugly European delivering his lecture round the dinner table is making what is essentially a moral argument against American failings like greed (lack of social spending) and laziness (cars), I wonder why the moral issues associated with his own immigration go so discreetly unmentioned and so automatically get a pass? He knows Europe is a more just and equitable place, and that the American military is out of control, and yet, one of Europe's best and brightest, he's shifting his time and money from the one to the other for the sake of his career. And yes, the Americans are usually polite to a fault and either agree with his criticisms or dutifully listen in silence. But does the European, alone in his room later, never ponder these things?

Who's more to blame: some cannibals who don't know any better, or a failed priest who preaches Catholic dogma at the natives while dining with them on human flesh? Well, unfortunate imagery for a dinner party.

Putting their behavior in the most charitable light--i.e. overlooking the apparently venal motives for their desertion of the ramparts of civilization in Eutopia--we could say that what they are engaged in over here is nothing less than overseas missionary work.

In which case this is the latest in a line of "they said it couldn't be done" Euro-achievements: figuring out how overseas missionary work can be done without sacrificing cash, career, or creature comforts--in fact while enjoying more of all three. Add this to a list that includes figuring out how to keep your country safe with minimal defense spending.

I sometimes think the EU flag should be a diagram of someone's proverbial attempt to square the circle, with a brave and hopeful "QED" placed at the bottom. Or perhaps simply a cake that's had and eaten too, though I'm not sure how you draw that.